we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
