he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
