I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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