Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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