I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
