New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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