He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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