I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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