Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just had sex on a roof
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
