she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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