Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I will be naked everywhere
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
