Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
