I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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