his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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