is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
