All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options