Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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