I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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