I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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