I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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