Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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