I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize