You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
