sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
