dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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