I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
