yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
