She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize