dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
