I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
