girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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