Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
