i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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