Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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