I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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