Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
