I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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