We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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