Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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