So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
