put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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