I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Text me some of your sweat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
