I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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