please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
