I CAN MOONWALK!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
