I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
