Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
