Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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