Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
