did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
