Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
