U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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