How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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