there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
