Already got asked if we're dating
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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