the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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