return my video game
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize