We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
