I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
