There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
