You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
