My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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