i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
